that i realized i miss my dog at home.
i go back and forth between loving him and being very annoyed with him.
but ultimately, i love him very much.
i just saw a photo of him and started to miss him.
when i was home over summer i would "abuse" him in a nice way.
i would crumple up paper and throw it on him while he was laying in his bed and he wouldn't notice, so the paper would just stay there.
my brother and i would laugh.
but now i feel bad and i will never do it again.
my dog is the only dog whose smell i love.
even when he is dirty, i love to stick my face into his fur and take a breath in.
he is the only dog i don't feel dirty after petting.
my brother once told me that he uses him as a napkin when he walks by, placing his dirty hand with food residue on our dog's brown curly fur.
i think we do fucked up things to our dog and so then he is fucked up.
his name is ben and he is a giant poodle.
i love watching him dream that he is running in his sleep.
we try to grab his wet tongue all the time, but i never succeed.
i love ben the dog so much.
i miss him.
when is the next time i will see him?