i wish this was my life! that i was the wife of an old, jewish, gay man from new jersey named barney, and we had a singing and joke telling act that we performed on the dinner theater circut (in our native new jersey), and at jewish sleep away camps during the summertime (also in new jersey), along with our long time friend, alan shemper. we always start our act with a fake fight, and then tell the audience that that fight we just had was in fact fake, and simply for their entertainment, or was it!?! and we continue with these "fake" fights for the rest of our act. and when i ask my husband, "oh no...what are we going to have for dinner tonight?", he replies, "i don't know noodles or something, it'll be fine."